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Zerodecoole
I'm that silent kid in class who sounds super interesting on the internet.

Caesár @Zerodecoole

Age 26

Starving Artist

Art Academy

Berlin

Joined on 8/4/09

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Today officially marks a year since I last posted on the site, I was so fed up with my life going nowhere, I had been stuck at home with little to no money left on my account, unable to afford any bills, and couldn't go anywhere or do anything other than sit in my room, doomscrolling on social media and posting to random internet forums.

I had left the art academy one year prior with plenty of savings to move to Berlin and start a new life there as the pandemic was ending, but the constant job and apartment rejections had taken a toll on my savings that now all had gone to my Dutch bills, and I was so sick of my life going nowhere.


Luckily, I managed to score an artist residency at an art gallery in Berlin from August - September 2022, which made it possible for me to briefly be in Berlin, I did not get paid for the residency and it took a big hit on my bank account getting me into the minus numbers, but it was definitely worth the experience of working on art outside of my computer screen!

Unfortunately, my time there was short and I had to go to my family home in the Netherlands again shortly afterward as I was constantly moving between AirBNBs and sublet apartments which became unaffordable. I once again spent months trying to return to Berlin. Only to finally get a job in February and officially move to Berlin in March this year!


I feel much happier now that I actually live in Berlin, I never really felt at home in the Netherlands. Even just briefly visiting the country just to see friends and family feels so uncanny in comparison. Unfortunately, the two years it took to move to Berlin took a large hit on my bank account and I have not had any savings for years, my life currently consists of working 40/48 hours a week just to hopefully pay off my debts from the Netherlands by the end of next month. It's been very long since I have been creative or productive because I spent so long just trying to move away from my old, depressing life despite not having the financial privilege to do so.


Anyways, the end of July always feels like some "evolution day" for me in which I evolve into a newer, better version of myself despite it not being my birthday and I figured I should give an update to where I have been and what I have been up to. Last year around this time I abandoned all my social media, deleted all the apps, and haven't redownloaded it ever since. That month and a half that I didn't use them were so peaceful so I might see how long I last this time. (should be good since Twitter is now going nowhere)


The only social media I surprisingly enjoy at the moment is Tumblr, feel free to follow me there. You can make fun of me all you want, it's ironic how I was the one making fun of Tumblr users nearly a decade ago just to find out that the site is actually chill and enjoyable now that the "problematic" community moved to Twitter.


Yeah so uh that's where I've been, I also have a website that I'm trying to turn into my own personal space on the internet, but haven't used it in a while.


How are y'all? Can't promise I'll be super active here again, especially not on the forums (RIP), but I won't be gone for another year.


Ironically, I have a song called General Chat that sounds like a large, abandoned space.


Oh yeah I forgot, I have a whole album dedicated to internet forums that came out earlier this year, it was partially inspired by the BBS, check it out! (also on streaming platforms)


Good to see y'all again :)


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